Thursday, July 13, 2006

Unending Love By Nancy Lerman

I found out the other day that a former lover had died
And this affected me in a strange way:
Not sadness, not sorrow.
After all, I hadn’t seen the man in, what, 10 or 15 years?
But it was strange, this feeling I had;
He had broken my heart
(Though not badly; it healed quickly enough).
I didn’t wish him ill;
I certainly didn’t want him back.
Then I realized what it was I was feeling:
An odd mix of relief and gratitude.
(Guilt at relief – after all, someone had died!)
Relief, because I never had to worry about bumping into him again
(At least not in this life)
And gratitude
For breaking my heart;
For leaving me
And allowing me therefore to
Become the mommy I am today,
Each day filled with
Smiles, tears, tantrums, explorations and discoveries
And unending Love.